Tikbogrow Teencarlad is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, sage wyvern.

Tikbogrow Teencarlad created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikbogrow Teencarlad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tikbogrow Teencarlad, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tikbogrow Teencarlad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tikbogrow Teencarlad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.