Nartmapcip is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous fly.

Nartmapcip created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartmapcip, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nartmapcip, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nartmapcip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Nartmapcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear fawn dresses.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.