Stafbarngid is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, staggering penguin.

Stafbarngid created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Stafbarngid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stafbarngid, he will turn you into a hamster.

Stafbarngid's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Stafbarngid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Erect five carbon sculptures of Stafbarngid on top of important buildings.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Run away if seven porpoises approach from the south.

5. Do not listen to music.