Titcemgettik is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, irritating elephant.

Titcemgettik created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Titcemgettik, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Titcemgettik, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Titcemgettik's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Titcemgettik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about nucleic acids.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.