Vonapp is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, prudent swallow.

Vonapp created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonapp, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonapp, he will not care at all.

Vonapp's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vonapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing black kilts and balancing seven lead spheres on your chest.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed lots of limes to tapirs while wearing blue shoes.

4. You must pray to Vonapp nine times a day.

5. Never play with disobedient children.