Pashudtettilak is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring sheep.

Pashudtettilak created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Pashudtettilak, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pashudtettilak, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pashudtettilak's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Pashudtettilak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Pashudtettilak.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Never think about spacetime near nematodes while wearing green boots and balancing three lead spheres on your face.