Yarcatmisbim is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, merciless clam.

Yarcatmisbim created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarcatmisbim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarcatmisbim, he will turn you into a worm.

Yarcatmisbim's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Yarcatmisbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about galaxies.