Figdutben is a god.

It takes the form of a small, quiet hummingbird.

Figdutben created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figdutben, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figdutben, it will turn you into a goat.

Figdutben's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Figdutben's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Retreat if five mice approach from the east.

5. Do not cook food in pots.