Xucklidflam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, self-confident tortoise.

Xucklidflam created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucklidflam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xucklidflam, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Xucklidflam's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Xucklidflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured cats.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Never wear gray boots.