Gumlathap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical troll.

Gumlathap created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumlathap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gumlathap, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gumlathap's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Gumlathap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill birds.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

5. Hide from fawn hamsters for they are unholy.