Tangemjab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing lizard.

Tangemjab created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tangemjab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tangemjab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tangemjab's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tangemjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.