Tardidarm is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awesome wyrm.

Tardidarm created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tardidarm, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tardidarm, it will not care at all.

Tardidarm's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tardidarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Tardidarm loves sheep, so they must be honoured.