Dadmotcem is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, conceited lion.

Dadmotcem created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadmotcem, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dadmotcem, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dadmotcem's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dadmotcem's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dadmotcem.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Dadmotcem must be the most important thing in your life.