Vegrakkap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring cat.

Vegrakkap created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vegrakkap, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vegrakkap, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vegrakkap's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Vegrakkap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight aardvarks approach from the west.

2. Do not eat melons.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Never hop near shrews.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near pigs while wearing cyan shorts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your legs.