Largnuttlak is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, clever dog.

Largnuttlak created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Largnuttlak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Largnuttlak, he will turn you into a mole.

Largnuttlak's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Largnuttlak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Largnuttlak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always wear violet.