Fumcumgad is a god.

It takes the form of a large, two-faced scorpion.

Fumcumgad created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Fumcumgad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fumcumgad, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fumcumgad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fumcumgad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Run away from green whales, for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not covet oxen.