Flatcisshugnurthadfetartab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, caring wolf.

Flatcisshugnurthadfetartab created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatcisshugnurthadfetartab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flatcisshugnurthadfetartab, he will turn you into a goat.

Flatcisshugnurthadfetartab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Flatcisshugnurthadfetartab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Always wear red.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.