Bissgepmob is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, weak pig.

Bissgepmob created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissgepmob, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bissgepmob, it will turn you into a rock.

Bissgepmob's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bissgepmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not keep nine capybaras in a large pit.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bissgepmob.