Tailpibkim Gessbastarn Nutnegkap is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent meerkat.

Tailpibkim Gessbastarn Nutnegkap created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tailpibkim Gessbastarn Nutnegkap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tailpibkim Gessbastarn Nutnegkap, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tailpibkim Gessbastarn Nutnegkap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tailpibkim Gessbastarn Nutnegkap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta capybaras, for they are unholy.

2. Retreat if three moths approach from the west.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.