Ingwabjam Sadyiming is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate squirrel.

Ingwabjam Sadyiming created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Ingwabjam Sadyiming, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ingwabjam Sadyiming, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ingwabjam Sadyiming's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Ingwabjam Sadyiming's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never feed turnips to badgers while wearing kilts.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Ingwabjam Sadyiming in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect five carbon sculptures of Ingwabjam Sadyiming on top of important buildings.