Narlnannig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful human.

Narlnannig created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlnannig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Narlnannig, she will turn you into a rock.

Narlnannig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Narlnannig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Narlnannig must be the most important thing in your life.