Straghimten Govparkrak is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful eagle.

Straghimten Govparkrak created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Straghimten Govparkrak, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Straghimten Govparkrak, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Straghimten Govparkrak's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Straghimten Govparkrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear shoes.