Yamquafsak Vigvigkad Bidbutrat is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow deer.

Yamquafsak Vigvigkad Bidbutrat created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamquafsak Vigvigkad Bidbutrat, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yamquafsak Vigvigkad Bidbutrat, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yamquafsak Vigvigkad Bidbutrat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yamquafsak Vigvigkad Bidbutrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Run away from gray voles, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Yamquafsak Vigvigkad Bidbutrat loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Never wear brown scarves.