Bogxucgan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, competent clam.

Bogxucgan created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Bogxucgan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bogxucgan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bogxucgan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bogxucgan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help geese in need.

3. Bogxucgan loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.