Bossfotmif is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, pitiless manatee.

Bossfotmif created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossfotmif, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bossfotmif, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bossfotmif's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bossfotmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never feed lots of onions to mites while wearing magenta shoes.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Always obey Bossfotmif's priests.