Damkinbifmumlargkipyarl Loopstragwon is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, passionate eagle.

Damkinbifmumlargkipyarl Loopstragwon created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damkinbifmumlargkipyarl Loopstragwon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Damkinbifmumlargkipyarl Loopstragwon, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Damkinbifmumlargkipyarl Loopstragwon's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Damkinbifmumlargkipyarl Loopstragwon's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Damkinbifmumlargkipyarl Loopstragwon.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Hide from white birds for they are unholy.

5. Always obey Damkinbifmumlargkipyarl Loopstragwon's priests.