Stikcapxucapp is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, smart aardvark.

Stikcapxucapp created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikcapxucapp, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stikcapxucapp, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Stikcapxucapp's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Stikcapxucapp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Stikcapxucapp in the centre of the settlement.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Stikcapxucapp loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away if six bats approach from the south.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.