Dabpangbog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, resourceful octopus.

Dabpangbog created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabpangbog, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dabpangbog, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dabpangbog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dabpangbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never feed lots of carrots to cats while wearing mauve corsets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.