Tenponxucstip Sagbissbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful dove.

Tenponxucstip Sagbissbeg created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tenponxucstip Sagbissbeg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tenponxucstip Sagbissbeg, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tenponxucstip Sagbissbeg's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tenponxucstip Sagbissbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

4. Moths are not to be trusted.

5. Fast once a month.