Guptippod Rotpadkip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless coyote.

Guptippod Rotpadkip created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Guptippod Rotpadkip, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Guptippod Rotpadkip, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Guptippod Rotpadkip's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Guptippod Rotpadkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near sharks.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Worship no other gods but Guptippod Rotpadkip.

5. Do not chop down trees.