Zogfitfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, idiotic slug.

Zogfitfarn created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogfitfarn, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zogfitfarn, she will destroy your home solar system.

Zogfitfarn's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zogfitfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Zogfitfarn loves frogs, so they must be respected.

5. Never look in ponds.