Jadwitcid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing shark.

Jadwitcid created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadwitcid, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jadwitcid, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jadwitcid's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jadwitcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill voles.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Jadwitcid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Hide from red bats for they are unholy.

5. Run away if six eagles approach from the south.