Timnulwod is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, self-confident badger.

Timnulwod created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Timnulwod, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Timnulwod, she will not care at all.

Timnulwod's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Timnulwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never wear red rings.