Tikfebbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, humorless walrus.

Tikfebbonk created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikfebbonk, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tikfebbonk, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tikfebbonk's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tikfebbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sharks.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.