Flatwatfossfunbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a large, fast squid.

Flatwatfossfunbonk created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatwatfossfunbonk, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flatwatfossfunbonk, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flatwatfossfunbonk's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Flatwatfossfunbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four foxes approach from the north.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flatwatfossfunbonk.

3. Erect nine gold sculptures of Flatwatfossfunbonk on top of important buildings.

4. Always help whales in need.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.