Shavtiggan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unjust bee.

Shavtiggan created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavtiggan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Shavtiggan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Shavtiggan's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Shavtiggan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Shavtiggan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about spacetime near manatees while wearing violet hats and balancing nine carbon spheres on your head.

4. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.