Fagyarlflyfet is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, unsympathetic cow.

Fagyarlflyfet created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagyarlflyfet, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fagyarlflyfet, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fagyarlflyfet's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Fagyarlflyfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fagyarlflyfet's name in vain.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Retreat if nine ducks approach from the east.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.