Midjamxin is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, effective crocodile.

Midjamxin created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midjamxin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Midjamxin, she will jump up and down on your head.

Midjamxin's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Midjamxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Midjamxin.

4. Never think about dark energy.

5. Do not hurt rats.