Tamgonfum is a god.

It takes the form of a small, proud seal.

Tamgonfum created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Tamgonfum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tamgonfum, it will turn you into a rat.

Tamgonfum's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tamgonfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in autumn.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never talk about goats.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Do not wear white clothing.