Tomfetsadsakcud is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, proud mongoose.

Tomfetsadsakcud created the Andromeda Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomfetsadsakcud, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tomfetsadsakcud, it will jump up and down on your head.

Tomfetsadsakcud's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tomfetsadsakcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near hamsters.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never mention squirrels.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never touch blood while blessed.