Barngessyam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, smart hippopotamus.

Barngessyam created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barngessyam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Barngessyam, he will refuse to believe in you.

Barngessyam's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Barngessyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Feed all hungry geese.