Ganquimflan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent crab.

Ganquimflan created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganquimflan, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ganquimflan, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ganquimflan's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Ganquimflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries on holy days.

2. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Never fashion tools from stone.