Pigvagnak is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ruthless mongoose.

Pigvagnak created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigvagnak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pigvagnak, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pigvagnak's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Pigvagnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Do not gather at wells at dusk.