Artfascab is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, happy otter.

Artfascab created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artfascab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Artfascab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Artfascab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Artfascab's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always help sick dolphins.