Targjinrip is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered crocodile.

Targjinrip created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Targjinrip, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Targjinrip, she will boil you in a big pot.

Targjinrip's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Targjinrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Never talk about badgers.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.