Jatstantap Mipcempark is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic warg.

Jatstantap Mipcempark created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatstantap Mipcempark, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jatstantap Mipcempark, she will ignore you.

Jatstantap Mipcempark's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Jatstantap Mipcempark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never wear fawn trousers.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Always look after injured whales.