Cimfembess is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, self-confident eagle.

Cimfembess created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimfembess, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cimfembess, he will remove you from existence.

Cimfembess' most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Cimfembess' Holy Commandments

1. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.

2. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

3. Never remain bowed at dawn.

4. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.