Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep is a god.

She takes the form of a large, amazing shrew.

Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow eagles to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

3. Never feed lots of spinach to tapirs while wearing fawn hats.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Never talk about spacetime.