Nigrenflam is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, grumpy weasel.

Nigrenflam created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigrenflam, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nigrenflam, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Nigrenflam's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nigrenflam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white bats for they are unholy.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.