Hadsafgom Kenditgem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful goat.

Hadsafgom Kenditgem created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hadsafgom Kenditgem, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hadsafgom Kenditgem, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hadsafgom Kenditgem's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Hadsafgom Kenditgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing fawn scarves and balancing nine platinum spheres on your hands.

5. Learn four new languages a year.